funny veg
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What do you call two rows of vegetables?

What a difference a week makes, right?! We all hope each of you are keeping well and staying healthy. Earlier this week, we shared a note with all of our active customers about our steps to continue delivering bags during this period. All collection points are currently open and we have contingency plans should that change. Our goal is to keep you updated frequently and well informed as the situation continues.

What we've learned in this past week, is that Local Greens is an outstanding community. An overwhelming number of you replied with offers to help neighbours unable to collect bags. The Norwood & Brixton Foodbank have also had a flurry of bags donated. We sincerely thank you for your kind and generous spirit and for keeping this local service thriving in uncertain times.

To help you plan for the weeks ahead, whatever they may bring, we wanted to share best tips for making your veg last. Many of the vegetables from last week and this week are excellent candidates for long term storage. The Hodmedod's dry goods shared over the last month will also happily keep for months in your pantry. Remember, your freezer is your best friend for keeping fresh meals in stock.

Please always wash all vegetables before eating, preparing or storing them. To be extra vigilant, you may also want to wash the reusable bags. Please continue to return your bags so we do not face any shortages.

Onions - can last up to a year when wrapped in paper inside the refrigerator, or in a dark, cool, and well-ventilated spot in your home

Apples - fare well in the refrigerator, where they can stay good for four weeks. Once they are fully ripe place in a plastic bag in the fridge. If you can find a spot that's 0-4 degrees Celsius and high humidity, your apples could last as long as six months

Potatoes - most varieties of potatoes stay fresh in the pantry for three to five weeks. Their life can be further extended by several months by placing them in the refrigerator. The little sprouts that shoot out of the potato's skin are harmless and can be removed before eating

Winter Squash - All the delicious varieties - acorn, butternut, kabocha, spaghetti, delicata, etc. - will keep for several months if stored in a dark spot that's kept below 10 degrees Celsius

Carrots -  last four to five weeks in the fridge

Beetroot - has the staying power of several months when placed in a cool, dark, and humid space like a root cellar or crisper drawer of yoru fridge. Remove and green tops before storing

Cabbage -  has a six month shelf life if stored the right way. The best conditions are in a very cold fridge with 95% humidity. If the outer leaves show signs of spoilage, removed them to reveal fresh leaves below

Swede - yes the dreaded swede is a high value asset at this time! It can last up to a month in your refrigerator. Keep on a low shelf

Many of us at the arch have families all over the world and keeping in touch is more important than ever. Personally, my family is in the United States, and one way my mom has always made my siblings and me smile is by sharing jokes on WhatsApp. In the spirit of my mom, the very bad joke teller from New Jersey, I give you the very best vegetable jokes Google can find:

What do you call two rows of vegetables?
A dual cabbage way!

What do veggies say on their birthday?
Lettuce celebrate!

What horror movie do all vegetables love?
Silence Of The Yams

What do you call a carrot with 4 equal sides?
A square root

What do vegetables say at parties?
Lettuce turnip the beet

Why did the tomato go out with a prune?
Because he couldn’t find a date!

For more vegetable pun, try this BuzzFeed list or this one to make you LOL or the Secret Seed Society greatest jokes of all time. Lastly, there's been a burst of internet creativity from people stuck at home.  Here's a favourite that made us chuckle. Don't forget to pause and have a laugh in the week ahead!